There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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