so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
