Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
