He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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