I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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