Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize