I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
