Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
