I want to have your abortion
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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