i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
where are you?
Hypothermia
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
