Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
