I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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