Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
jump out the window naked night went bad
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