Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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