I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
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Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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