I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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