She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
