you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
