I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
