My friends, they love my intelligence
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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