you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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