Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i've created a new STD.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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