I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
