I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
