Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
