Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I deserve this hangover.
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