Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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