Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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