I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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