I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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