Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize