Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
