I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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