Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do herpes really smell.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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