Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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