she sounds like chewbacca in bed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
