Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
