rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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