Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
