do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm at about main and main street
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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