; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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