So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm bleeding and have questions
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
