So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
