Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Holy shit dude........stairs
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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