He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Church boner. Awkwardddd
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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