i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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