Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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