and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
