so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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