yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
