i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
