why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I love having hate sex.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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