drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
the raccoons are back...
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