yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
