tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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