I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
