alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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