i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
As shirtless as possible
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
